The Ultra Weird Furuba Easter Special
by Author888
Summary: My special is weirder than your's. I know it's late, and I don't care.


Title: The Ultra Weird Furuba Easter Special

By: Author 888

**Disclaimer: Nothing in this special is mine. It is just ultra weird**. 

Note: Like I said, this is very weird.

The Easter Bunny stood outside of Shigure's house, basket of eggs in his hand. He stood there staring. It was broad daylight and everybody was already awake, so why was he outside of Shigure's house? Let's look back at that time:

_When Shigure was ten, he saw the Easter Bunny enter his home at about 3:00 in the morning. The first thing he did was go up to him and poke the poor rabbit._

_"Poke… Poke… Poke…" Shigure would say the dreadful word every time he would poke the Easter Bunny._

_"Can you please cut it out?" the bunny asked in a polite voice._

_"Nope." Shigure would always reply that._

Now the Easter Bunny was back and looking for revenge. He grabbed one of the eggs when Yuki came along.

"Hey, are those the normal kind or the explody weird kind?" Yuki asked as he saw the Easter Bunny.

"It's fortified with what the world wants, what the world deserves," The Easter Bunny replied psychotically.

"Good enough for me," Yuki stated as he returned to Shigure's house.

Soon Tohru walked by. "Good day," she said, and then continued to walk home.

"Good day to you too," the Easter Bunny replied and returned to the egg he had in his hand. At that moment Kyo ran to the house without saying a word. The Easter Bunny lit the fuse on the top of his egg.

"No! Please don't blow up my house!" Shigure exclaimed as he ran to the Easter Bunny. "I worked hard for that house."

"I stocked your room full of high school girls for you to enjoy," the Easter Bunny coaxed. Shigure ran in there in an instant.

In an instant, Haru appeared. "You left a note saying you stole Rin! Where is she?" Haru demanded in his black mode.

"She was one of the high school girls I stocked Shigure's room with," the Easter Bunny told him.

"I'M COMING FOR YOU RIN!" Haru screamed as he ran to Shigure's house. "I'LL SAVE YOU FROM THE PEDOPHILIC PERVERT!"

"How many Sohma's are going to appear?" the Easter Bunny asked as Hatori and Momiji appeared.

"Come on Momiji. I have to give Yuki his check-up," Hatori said. Then he turned to the Easter Bunny. "You aren't very Christian, are you? I know I'm not Christian. I'm a Buddhist, but isn't Easter a Christian holiday?"

"Yes, it celebrates Jesus' rise from the dead. I'd always wondered what the hell I had to do with that. I acted Christian when I didn't know. Then I figured out that I had nothing to do with the Christian holiday. I was there so everybody could enjoy the holiday and have fun. I was there so that little children of different religions or no religion could have fun on the same day. I began to act rude and remembered my torturer… Shigure, and that led me hear. Revenge will be mine! HA HAH HAAA HAAH HA!" the Easter Bunny explained.

"Okay, I'll be going now." And, with his newfound knowledge, Hatori dragged Momiji into Shigure's house.

"KYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kagura screamed as she ran into Shigure's house.

"Have you seen my brother?" Ayame asked the Easter Bunny from behind.

"He's in his room," the Easter Bunny answered. As he saw the back of Ayame's dress flap in the breeze, he thought about him. _Yep, he's definitely queer. Not bi. He's definitely a queer. Which makes me think, what does he do with Yuki when nobody is watching. Oh…R…my… a…god…p…no…e. Enough thinking about that. Back to my revenge._

At that moment, Hiro and Kisa appeared because she wanted to visit Sissy. "Hurry up, Hiro! I want to see Sissy as soon as possible," Kisa told the boy.

"I'm coming," he responded. They walked right by the Easter Bunny without noticing anything. Seconds later, Ritsu ran by screaming apologies after he ran into some man as he was returning from grocery shopping. _There goes Ritchan-san, the evil screaming transvestite axe-murderer. He's entering the house. One more in there._

As he finished thinking, Kureno walked by for absolutely no reason. The Easter Bunny looked at Kureno and yelled, "Get inside Shigure's house!"

Kureno didn't move. He was frozen in fear. "NOOOOOO! If I go in there, he'll rape me again! The bisexual bastard will rape me again!" Kureno complained.

"GET IN THERE… OR I WILL KILL THIS CHICKEN!" the Easter Bunny screamed.

"Please don't kill Uncle Cluckers! I'll go in."

"Take Uncle Cluckers with you."

Kureno entered the house, and ,immediately, the Easter Bunny heard voices from behind him. "How have you been?"

"Nothing to complain about."

"That's good to hear."

The Easter Bunny turned around to find Akito talking to Zombie Jesus like they were old friends. _WTF?_

"Hello, Easter Bunny. What are you doing?" Akito asked.

"Oh nothing."

"Then why is that egg on fire?"

"I like hard boiled eggs."

"Okay."

"We were on our way to torture our favorite rat. Want to come along?" Zombie Jesus asked.

"No thanks. I'll go next time," the Easter Bunny replied.

"Okay see ya then."

The Easter Bunny watched Akito and Zombie Jesus enter Shigure's house. _Finally, I'm back to what I was doing. Revenge is mine! HAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA!_

The Easter Bunny threw the egg grenade. Seconds later, Shigure's house exploded, and the Easter Bunny disappeared. _HA HAH HAA HAH HA!_

Note: I knew it. The Easter Bunny is a killer that breaks into your house at night and slits your throat because he can and doesn't care about your well-being. Zombie Jesus is copyrighted Author 888, April 16, 2006. Ritsu as an axe-murderer is an inside joke. Review or the Easter Bunny will come to your house next Easter and violently torture you. You have been warned.


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